


Skyline

by eita_kun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt, M/M, Suicide, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, double suicide, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5860165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eita_kun/pseuds/eita_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>9.8 was their thing. From the moment they met, to the moment they parted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skyline

Inspired by:

[Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRQ6Wj4pqc) and [Art](http://kim-quim.tumblr.com/post/124564682350/look-now-im-on-the-top-of-your-world-hanamaki%20)

 

* * *

 

_ Calla lily, carnation, daisy  _

_ Silently chase away your worries  _

_ Chrysanthemum, kalanchoe  _

_ Become your shield whenever you fall asleep  _

 

Hanamaki Takahiro was full of life; the soul of the sound of conversation and laughter. In a volleyball match; he was quiet, almost invisible as he studied the court and considered the game situation. Amongst those he held dear, he was full of humour and joy. He looked like there was nothing in the world to worry about. He looked like he was happy.

 

There had only been one instance where he hadn’t been happy; where his wide grin had disappeared entirely and all that was left were tear tracks on his cheeks and a pain in his throat. Well that one instance was the only time Matsukawa Issei had seen his boyfriend look so wrecked.

 

And he hadn’t meant to. Makki had missed that day at school, and Mattsun had stopped by to drop off his notes so the other wouldn’t fall behind, as well as bring some creampuffs to cheer him up if he was ill.

 

But he’d been met with the face of someone who had given up on living, given up on consciousness and happiness and everything that made life exciting and not just something to be sat through until the end.

 

And Makki didn’t let go as he clung onto Mattsun’s arms, welcoming his comfort as he sobbed into his chest about things Mattsun couldn’t make out, but he could piece together that the brunet needed him to stay close.

 

And he’d promised, that he’d be there till the end because the end of Makki would be the end of Mattsun.

 

_ I cried out  _

_ Please don’t leave me behind, leave me behind  _

_ So you held me tight  _

_ And said I will be just fine, I will be just fine, I will be just fine  _

 

He’d taken extra care of him since then, surprising him with the occasional bouquet of his favourite flowers, taking him on dates and treating him like the king he was. He knew that he wasn’t being subtle about his actions, wasn’t hiding how much he desperately wanted Makki to never reach that state again but his partner understood the reasons why and never questioned it. And if they held hands more often, Makki didn’t complain and he didn’t let go.

 

_ Petals dance for our valediction  _

_ And synchronize to your frozen pulsation  _

_ Take me to where your soul may live in peace  _

_ Final destination  _

_ Touch of your skin sympathetically brushed against  _

_ The shoulders you used to embrace  _

_ Sparkling ashes drift along your flames  _

_ And softly merge into the sky  _

 

It was close to graduation, close to the beginnings of their new lives, free from the confines of high school and ready to set out into the great big world. They could go as far as the eye could see, everything the light touched and then the darkness too. 

 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi were going to university, different universities in the Tokyo area. They had already planned the number of video dates per week, phone calls and texts and the like. Yahaba would be the new captain, the kid would do well and keep the team in line as Oikawa had done. Though with significantly less vanity and more humbleness. 

 

Mattsun had initially planned to go straight into work, bypass university and start at his family’s business. It was easy and he had to take over at some point. But he wasn’t sure if it was what he really wanted. He wasn’t even sure of anything other than how much he adored Makki.

 

And Makki, of the 4 third years he was the most mysterious one when it came to his future plans. He refused to tell anyone, and everyone had given up prying after he’d shot them down in flames time after time. 

 

_ Lisianthus  _

_ Aroma drags me out of where I was  _

_ Cream rose, stargazer, iris  _

_ Construct the map that helps me trace your steps  _

 

_ Zipped my mouth  _

_ I just keep climbing up, keep climbing up  _

_ Justify our vows  _

_ I know you are right above, you are right above, you are right above  _

 

“Come on, I want to show you something!”

 

A hand clasped around his wrist, the sound of laughter filling his ears as he was dragged through the streets. It was enough to make his heart rate increase ten-fold and he was sure his palms were sweaty. But Makki didn’t let go.

 

He didn’t let go, even as he tugged him into an office building and nearly bundled him into the lift. The highest floor was pressed, floor 56, but he knew there were higher floors. 

 

Once floor 56 was reached, he was being pulled along again and he almost stumbled up the stairs until they reached the roof and the pinks, blues and creams of the sky were the backdrop to the landscape of their town.

 

_ Look now  _

_ I’m on the top of your world, top of your world  _

_ My darling  _

_ Here I come, I yell  _

_ And take a leap to Hell  _

 

Arms outstretched, wind running through his brown hair and his diploma clutched still in his right hand. Makki was happy, laughing… like he should be.

 

“On top of the world. It’s like you’re suspended in nothing but in everything at once. You’re in the skyline and you feel like that’s the only place you should be. Looking at everything like you own it. It’s the best feeling.” 

 

It had taken a moment for him to register that his boyfriend was talking, and maybe he’d accidentally prompted the other to repeat himself with his confused expression but it was told once more.

 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? I come up here a lot.”

 

“Without me?”

 

“I brought you here now, didn’t I?”

 

“Shut your mouth, that’s not the point. Have you decided what you’re doing after graduation?”

 

“Yeah, have you?” 

 

“Nope, no clue.” 

 

“You’ll figure it out, you’re smart, Issei.” 

 

“What have you decided?”

 

There was a moment of silence, then lips against his own. It was desperate, almost painfully so with how much emotion there was behind it. His head reeling, he kissed back, hands resting on the inclines of the body he’d come to adore wholy. A shrine to the greatest boy he’d ever known, and would ever know.

 

In the back of his head, he vaguely recalled his question not being answered but he was distracted by the ferocity of the kiss and he was disappointed when it was cut short. His slightly smaller boyfriend hiked himself onto the ledge, standing with his back to the abyss and just seeing him made Mattsun’s heart stop and start uncontrollably. Too close, much too close to the edge…

 

“Today was graduation, we’re no longer in high school...but there’s nothing for me now. Just you. So I’m saying goodbye, Issei… this is...it’s goodbye. I love you, so so much. Don’t hate me for this. I’ll see you.”

 

And then his heart stopped entirely, because there he was falling backwards, after speaking words of farewell.

  
  
  


_ Swirling wind sings for our reunion  _

_ And nine point eight is my acceleration  _

_ Take me to where our souls may live in peace  _

_ Our brand new commencement  _

_ Touch of your lips compassionately pressed against  _

_ The skull that you used to cherish  _

_ Delicate flesh decomposes off my rotten bones  _

_ And softly merge into the sky _

 

Maybe he should have noticed how his heels had been hovering over the ledge, facing the diminutive street full of people and cars. How they were above the level of the cherry blossoms, by a long long way, but looking down on them felt like he could walk on the clouds.

 

Maybe he should have noticed that Makki was shaking, small tremors of his body that he’d initially put down to just being in his shirt but now he knew it was due to the adrenaline of being so embedded into the sky and the weight of how he was about to fall.

 

If he’d been next to him, holding his hand, he might not have fallen.

 

If he’d been behind him, fingers clutching onto his shirt in case he did fall… because he had worried about the other since he saw that night of weakness.

 

If he’d even been 10cm closer, maybe he could have caught him before he fell out of reach and sped close to the hard, painfully hard, ground.

 

Even though all the signs had pointed to his fall being deliberate, there was still an inkling of hope within Mattsun that he hadn’t meant to fall. That they’d been interrupted so tragically by a slipping of one set of feet and another pair too shocked to move to rectify anything.

 

There was no hope that he was still alive though. They were too high up, touching the sky. He could almost taste the clouds. Feel the moisture on his skin from the masses of water that were suspended above the Earth. 

 

But he didn’t need to, he had his own dew on his cheeks as he dropped to his knees, hand outstretched as if he could reach across the distance between them to bring him back. 

 

9.8, the acceleration due to gravity on Earth. From the top of the world, to the bottom. 9.8. 

 

_ “On a scale of 9-10, I’d give you a 9.8.” _

 

_ “Why not a 10?” _

 

_ “Because you’re not my boyfriend yet.”  _

 

Something that could have been a hysteric laugh or a distraught sob escaped his lips as he felt a painful wrench within his chest.

 

_ “I swear I want 9.8 bags of creampuffs, a blanket and you.”  _

 

_ “I’d say 10 reasons I love you but I never want to finish telling you. So I’m only going to say 9.8 reasons and save the rest for later.” _

 

They’d even used the acceleration due to gravity value to initiate those moments when they needed, desired, just lusted for intimacy. 

 

_ “That shirt of yours would look better falling to my floor at 9.8m/s2.” _

 

9.8 had been their thing, their dynamic, their always. Ever since they’d met, 9.8 had been their inside joke. No one else had understood. 

 

It seemed this theme had followed Makki and Mattsun through to the end of them. 9.8 had been their beginning, their middle and their end. 

 

“How fitting that 9.8 would be the end of you, Taka.” Mattsun whispered, picking himself up and dropping his bag. His body didn’t feel like his own, like he was being controlled by some external force. His legs drew him closer to the edge, moving to stand on top just as Makki had.

 

Despite not feeling like he could move his body, he knew exactly what he was doing. His every cell was denying its fight-or-flight response because he knew this was going to happen sooner or later. No point delaying the inevitable.

 

“On top of the world. It’s like you’re suspended in nothing but in everything at once. You’re in the skyline and you feel like that’s the only place you should be. Looking at everything like you own it. It’s the best feeling.” He repeated the words that Makki had told him before, understanding the significance of them now. 

 

He took a breath, the last breath he would take, and then he was suspended in open air before numbness overtook his senses and he was gone.

 

He’d let go, just as Makki had.

  
  


_ “9.8 minutes. You took your time.”  _

 

_ “Figured I’d keep the joke running right through to the end.”  _

 

_ “Trust you.” _

 

_ “You’re the one who jumped.” _

 

_ “You followed.” _

 

_ “Only because I love you.” _

 

_ “And I love you.”  _

  
  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god, I feel like this is so bad... oh well, pffttt.... don't forget to leave a comment, I need motivation and love.


End file.
